glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
