I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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