He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize