he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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