Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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