The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
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You made out with two different species that night
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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