Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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