Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
