last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
