Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
