Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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