He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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