Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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