8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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