You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
