Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The ass gains better be worth it
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