Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
