I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
