There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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