im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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