I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
