Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
