the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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