Sry I called you an 8
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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