I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
