I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
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Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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