i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"