So drunk its hurt
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.