I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.