its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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