i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
