morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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