i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
