Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
