Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
