I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm like, not good at living.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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