The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
