you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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