I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
