like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
