Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
