I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
