so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
