Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize