I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
