she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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