It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
