If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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