you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
