hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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