Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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