i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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