I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Pants are for mortals
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
