i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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