so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize