She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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