problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
