i don't like sucking hair
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
