bring money and cleavage
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
