Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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