her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize