So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
