Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
