And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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