We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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