I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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