Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
