Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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