she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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