I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
