You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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