Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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